The knock at our door

Last night just before dinner there was a knock at our back door. As usual our two dogs barked up a storm, fortunately it doesn’t take much to calm them down. Their combined weight is less than 14 pounds. Once the noise had subsided, Tiffany opened the door to find two missionaries from the Mormon church on our porch.

I’m not sure what it is about is. It seems that we attract Mormons like moths to a light. Tiff invited the two of them in, gave them some water and Dunkaroos, and we chatted a bit. As has been the case in the past, they were excited to hear that we have a Book of Mormon and that we have been visited by missionaries before. I think in their minds this means that we are ripe for conversion. We were quite honest with them and told about how we have been blacklisted by the Mormon church and how previous missionaries who had visited us were split up and sent away.

Despite this news, they made an appointment to come back Thursday evening. Right now I think it is 50/50 whether they will actually show up or not. The last missionaries that visited us just stopped coming one day. I think they were tired of our questions and wasting their time with two people who were never going to join their church.

If they do come we will be hospitable and kind. We will also ask questions and share what we believe. I figure if they are going to come and share their beliefs we should be allowed to share ours.

I don’t get the same charge out of visits from the Mormon missionaries that I used to. Back in the day when we were going to a conservative evangelical church and putting the "fun" in fundamentalism, I figured that I would dazzle them with my eloquence and drive them to their knees in repentance. I didn’t want to be their friend, I wanted to convert them as badly as they wanted to convert me.

I don’t have an agenda anymore, I’m not looking to bring them into a "Bible believing church" because I have no time or patience for church. Now I just want to be a nice guy who loves Jesus.

The grisly details

Yesterday on my drive to work the hosts on the radio station I was listening to were discussing the Robert Pickton trial. For those of you outside of Canada, Robert Pickton is accused of being our country’s most prolific serial killer. He is suspected of having murdered somewhere in the region of 50 women and burying their remains on his B.C. pig farm.

The radio hosts discussion turned into an impromptu poll. The majority of news sources here in Canada have been very discreet in their handling of this trial so far. The grisly details are out there, but you have to look for them. The poll asked whether you have been seeking out these grisly details or not. I was relieved when eighty percent of those who called in said that they were not.

In a way it is almost understandable why someone would want to read all the gory details of these crimes. However, there is a price to paid for doing so. I am convinced that when we go into the depths of evil a little piece of your soul dies. We can shrug off what we have read all we want, but the images that were painted in our subconcious by those words will travel with us for a very long time.

I count myself in the eighty percent who are avoiding the details. I am not prepared to pay that price. 

A love Supreme

Dear Listener:

All Praise Be To God To Whom All Praise Is Due.

Let us pursue Him in the righteous path. Yes it is true; “seek and ye shall find.” Only through Him can we know the most wondrous bequeathal.

During the year 1957, I experienced, by the grace of God, a spiritual awakening which was to lead me to a richer, fuller, more productive life. At that time, in gratitude, I humbly asked to be given the means and privilege to make others happy through music. I feel this has been granted through His grace. ALL PRAISE TO GOD.

As time and events moved on, a period of irresolution did prevail. I entered into a phase which was contradictory to the pledge and away from the esteemed path; but thankfully, now and again through the unerring and merciful hand of God, I do perceive and have been duly re-informed of His OMNIPOTENCE, and of our need for, and dependence on Him. At this time I would like to tell you that NO MATTER WHAT…IT IS WITH GOD. HE IS GRACIOUS AND MERCIFUL. HIS WAY IS IN LOVE, THROUGH WHICH WE ALL ARE . IT IS TRULY—A LOVE SUPREME–.

This album is a humble offering to Him. An attempt to say “THANK YOU GOD” through our work, even as we do in our hearts and with our tongues. May He help and strengthen all men in every good endeavor…

May we never forget that in the sunshine of our lives, through the storm and after the rain—it is all with God—in all ways forever.

ALL PRAISE TO GOD.

With love to all, I thank you,

John Coltrane – From the liner notes of A Love Supreme

Another speech

Convinced this is their moment, tens of thousands marched Saturday in an anti-war demonstration linking military families, ordinary people and an icon of the Vietnam protest movement in a spirited call to get out of Iraq.

Celebrities, a half-dozen lawmakers and protesters from distant states rallied in the capital under a sunny sky, seizing an opportunity to press their cause with a Congress restive on the war and a country that has turned against the conflict.

Via

I understand what they are trying to do. I am with them on finding an end to the violence in Iraq. I just don’t know if an immediate US troop withdrawal is the answer.

I know it is hard to believe considering the chaos that now engulfs Iraq, but the US troop presence is bringing a measure of stability to the country. If the US were to unilaterally withdraw, the result would be a descent into chaos beyond our worst nightmares.

Don’t get me wrong. George Bush’s plan to throw more military might at the Iraq "problem" is not the answer either. You would hope that by now he had learned that force is not the solution to the world’s problems. Apparently, that is not the case.

So what is the answer to fixing Iraq? George Bush is a Christian. One of the things that Christ our Lord prizes most is humility. The time has come for Mr. Bush to be humble.

He invaded Iraq against the wishes of the international community. He sent Colin Powell to the United Nations to present dubious "evidence" to support his invasion. I am convinced that another speech before the UN is needed. This time to be made by Mr. Bush himself.

In this speech he will admit his mistake and ask for the assistance of the United Nations. Hopefully, the world will agree to help fix the mess that he has made. Military might will only lead to an increase in violence. Diplomacy is the only real solution at this point. The United States on its own does not have the credibility needed to bring a diplomatic end to this war. That is where the international community comes in.

Before the US army can withdraw, An international force of peacekeepers, including some US soldiers, must be put in place. Otherwise, the civilian death toll will be unimaginable.

Do I really think this will happen? Unfortunately not. The future of Iraq looks very bleak to me. But a guy can dream, can’t he?

10 million is a small price to pay

Prime Minister Stephen Harper is expected to announce Friday the government has reached a legal settlement in the lawsuit filed by Maher Arar over his 2002 deportation to Syria, where he was detained on suspicion of being a terrorist and tortured

The settlement is reportedly $10 million, with an additional $2 million to pay for Arar’s legal bills, according to CTVnews.

Arar, a Syrian-born Canadian, was detained by U.S. authorities at a New York airport in 2002 and deported to Syria, where he was imprisoned and tortured. In his lawsuit against the federal government, the former Ottawa engineer alleged negligence, negligent investigation, defamation, false imprisonment, assault and battery and abuse of public office.

Earlier this month, the Bush administration rejected the Canadian government’s request to remove Arar from an American terror watch list, saying its earlier decision to bar him from the U.S. remains ‘’supported” by a recent re-examination of the case. The decision followed a formal request from Ottawa last year for the Bush administration to review Arar’s case after O’Connor’s inquiry.

Via

Considering everything Mr. Arar endured, $10,000,000 seems a small price to pay. I can’t help but wonder if the refusal of the United States to take him off their watch lists has more to do with them not wanting to admit that they messed up, than a real concern over Mr. Arar being part of terrorist attacks against them.

This case is a glaring example of what happens when governments are reactive and not proactive in the wake of tragic events like the 9/11 attacks. Ironically, this kind of occurrence only serves to prove some of the charges levied against the west by Islamic extremists. The only "crime" Maher Arar was guilty of is being a Muslim from a middle-eastern country.

If we as a society really want to rise above we have to force ourselves to not be afraid and to to not stereotype. We can’t covertly ship people off to countries that allow torture (ironically, many of the covert flights that the CIA initiate to countries that allow torture must land in Gander, Newfoundland before "jumping off" over the Atlantic. The planes they use do not have the range to go non-stop.) In short we have to live up to the ideals that we claim to hold dear. Anything else is loss.

Questions

A question by its very nature acknowledges that the person asking the question does not have all the answers. And because the person does not have all the answers, they are looking outside of themselves for guidance.

Questions, no matter how shocking or blasphemous or arrogant or raw, are rooted in humility. A humility that understands that I am not God. And there is more to know.

Maybe that is who God is looking for – people who don’t just sit there and mindlessly accept whatever comes their way.

What are some of Jesus’ final words? "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

Jesus. On the cross. Questioning God.

    From Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell Pages 30 & 31

I have been feeling pretty bad about the lack of faith that I have been experiencing lately. My post from yesterday was not the easiest to write and I almost didn’t, but I know that other people feel the same way.

Somehow I knew on some level that I am forgiven and accepted, but I still felt bad. Then last night I took Jamie to her dance class and brought along Velvet Elvis to keep me company. I just got this book for my birthday from my mom. When I read the passage I quoted above I almost wept. It was as if God was saying to me loud and clear "don’t sweat it, we’re cool."

It is amazing to consider that Jesus suffered doubt as He hung on the cross. But then, he suffered pretty much everything we go through, I suppose it wouldn’t have been complete without a little doubt thrown in the mix.

The inability to trust

It’s really sad. How hard it is, coming face to face with my lake of faith and inability to trust. Something good happens, scratch that, something great happens and I am still afraid. I wait for the other shoe to drop and something much worse than what I was cured of to afflict me.

Neurotically, I lay awake at night and worry about the good thing I have been blessed with to be taken away. Unable to trust in the love of God, or anything else for that matter, my demeanor changes. The anxiety that often plagues me is heightened exponentially. A case of the Norwalk virus and the resulting diminished efficacy of the medication I take to treat my anxiety doesn’t help.

And then I come face to face with this.

What a fucking cliche this has become. We have reduced the cross to a bobble we wear around our neck and a hunk of wood we kneel in front of but never really submit to. Maybe we need to go on a five year cross fast where its image is removed from every church and we are no longer permitted to wear it around our neck. Maybe then we would once again begin to discover the horrible reality of it all.

Despite the cliche I find comfort. Somehow, despite my halting faith and inability to trust I find a hand on my shoulder and I know that it is OK. I am understood. I don’t know why, I certainly don’t deserve it, but I am understood. My faith is still small, but I guess whatever is there is enough.

The decline of religion

It is customary to blame secular science and anti-religious philosophy for the eclipse of religion in modern society. It would be more honest to blame  religion for its own defeats. Religion declined not because it was refuted, but because it became irrelevant, dull, oppressive, insipid.

When faith is completely replaced by creed, worship by discipline, love by habit; when the crisis of today is ignored because of the splendor of the past; when faith becomes an heirloom rather than a living fountain; when religion speaks only in the name of authority rather than with the voice of compassion, its message becomes meaningless.
Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel

On Hiatus

We must beware lest we violate the holy,
lest our dogmas over think the mystery,
lest our psalms sing it away.
The right of interpretation
is given only to one who covers his face,
"afraid to look at God,"
    Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel

Hero

If he were still alive, today would be Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s 78th birthday. CNN.com is running a special called Words that Changed a Nation. For more information about Dr. King, check out the King Papers Project at Stanford University.